The Tangerine Fox
So sorry, foxes! Our online store is temporarily closed ... but it's not for long, we promise. Here's what's happened ...
We've had constant internet connection issues in the shop since our move to West Lakes, and just 'cos it's 2020 - if it CAN be difficult, it WILL... everything went completely tits up RIGHT at the moment guaranteed to cause the biggest shamozzle. Picture the 23rd Dec - famous as being THE biggest day of the retail year, as the day when The Fox lost ALL contact with the World Wide Webs.
Total. Radio. Silence.
*insert panicked/green vomit face here.
We spent the final throes of 2020 - this all-round FABULOUS year ('cos it COULDN'T JUST GO DOWN EASY COULD IT?!!@!#), on the 2 busiest days of shopping, manually writing down the price/barcode/payment method for every single item sold - I mean, literally writing pages and pages of Ledger books, trading as if we were an Apothecary in 1779, only with less arsenic and more ballpoint pens.
*insert unhinged laughter/crazy eyes here.
We've had to do the same every day since as the boffins scramble to find out what's caused this, so our inventory is now in a state of complete disarray and until we're back to the future & can get all those pages of sales into the computer, pretty much NONE of the products listed online will be showing their actual physical quantities.
*inset extremely unladylike expletives here. *keep inserting them. *I'll tell you when you can stop ...
We'll have this resolved very soon, but until then, you're gonna have to hold off on buying stuff. It sucks. We know. But we're on it & we'd rather just build the suspense than have you all disappointed if we can't fulfil items that you've bought so hang in there & just don't stop believin' m'kay?
Huge apologies to anyone whose orders have been affected already, those who placed orders before Xmas that were first victims of those last, harrowing days of our slowly deteriorating internet connection - when cracks were starting to show but it was like one of those old school cartoon deaths where there's a lot of clutching at the heart & wild swaying & stumbling & 'oohing' & 'ouching' & 'I'm DYIIIIIIIIING's & gasping and it went on for like 10 minutes with the character just holding on & being dramatic AF & every time you thought it was over, it wasn't QUITE over just yet. And there'd be another round or two of all of the above, only MORE dramatic, until finally the end came ... only you couldn't quite trust it was the ACTUAL end because half of you was just waiting for a final 'MUMMA? IS THAT YOU MUMMA? I SEE A WHITE LIGHT! I'M COMING MUMMA!' which ALWAYS happened, after a comically-long silence, and was generally followed by an extra-pained groan, another long silence, a huge exhale of breath, more silence ... and maybe one last full body flop before all went still.
That's what our internet's been like. Exactly. Only difference is that to my knowledge, no cartoon character ever died from terrible service by a shitty internet provider.
Moral of the story? When the shit hits the fan, make a funny story out of it while you clean up the mess. The sun'll come out, tomorrow xx